Tales of Anxiety

Anxiety is often misunderstood, brushed aside, or hidden in silence, especially among Indian women navigating societal expectations and familial pressures. Today, we sit down with Rasika, who has faced the highs and lows of living with anxiety. Join us as Rasika shares the challenges of managing panic attacks, breaking the stigma, and finding resilience in the face of judgment and misunderstanding.

BossNaari:  Hello Rasika, we're so glad to have you with us today. To start, Can you tell us about your journey with anxiety?

Rasika: If I had to describe my journey with anxiety in one line, I would say it is like riding waves. There are highs and lows, with some waves short and others long. Highs are when I feel like I am in control and have somehow figured how to deal with my anxiety. Lows are when the fatigue of a mental health issue gets to me. You never know when the next one is going to hit you. Initially, it was very overwhelming and confusing going through it, but once I started to go to therapy sessions, and identify the triggers then it got easier to manage.

BossNaari:  Thanks a lot for sharing it, Rasika. What was your family's reaction to your anxiety?

Rasika: Well, the earliest memory I can recall is that we were travelling by train and I got my first panic attack. I didn't know what was happening, it was so bad that I felt like I was about to die and my father held my hand throughout, he gave me the medication he had with him at the time. Having been diagnosed with anxiety himself, he knows exactly what I am going through and he is a huge pillar in my life. My mom and my brother, while they can't understand what I am going through, still try their best to support me in their own ways. I feel so blessed to have a loving and supportive family.

BossNaari: That sounds wonderful. Having a supportive family during such difficult times is truly a blessing. Panic attacks can be incredibly overwhelming and stressful, especially when they come out of nowhere.Can you tell us a bit more about it, just for starters how would you describe a panic attack?

Rasika: Panic attacks... What can I say? They just feel like you're drowning—it's overwhelming, and there's no way out. Just last night, I had a mild one. Suddenly, I felt cold, my vision blurred, and my hands shook. There was this restlessness inside, and I couldn’t even get up. It felt like life was draining out of me, pulling away all the energy that kept me alive. And honestly, as I’m explaining it now, I can feel it all over again. It just feels so real.

BossNaari: Thank you so much for sharing that Rasika, that sounds very scary. Can we talk about how you came to identify and manage your triggers?

Rasika: Identifying my triggers was very difficult and it took me so long to figure out. With the help of my therapist, I understood that my triggers are both physical and psychological. One of my physical triggers is the type of food and its reaction with my gut. So I mostly avoid foods that cause acidity, or are spicy and reactive with my gut. Coming to psychological triggers, I feel fear plays a major role here. I had a fear of death because the symptoms of panic attack mimic the symptoms of a heart attack. I used to think, what if something bad happens to me and no one is around for help? Honestly, it's so terrifying. Every time I had a panic attack I used to wonder, what if this is it for me? Another thing that I have observed is my tendency to associate panic attacks with the places where they happened, which makes me scared to visit that place again.  

BossNaari:  And what has helped you cope?

Rasika: One thing I’ve learned is that fighting a panic attack only makes it worse. Instead, I’ve had to teach myself to let it pass, to accept it for what it is, and to stay present with it. It’s not easy, but once you stop resisting, it can make a huge difference. Spirituality has been a major source of strength for me. Believing in a higher power, knowing that something greater is in control, gives me comfort—it’s like reminding myself that this too shall pass. For a long time, my family and my home were my safe spaces, their presence, just having someone nearby, made all the difference. But after getting married and moving in with my partner, I had to learn to deal with the attacks on my own. Slowly, I became that safe space for myself. 

BossNaari: It’s truly inspiring how you've found strength within yourself, Rasika. I’m curious, when it came to discussing your anxiety with potential partners during the arranged marriage process, how did you bring it up, and how was it received?

Rasika: In my case, I think the communication was not very clear. So we just explained everything to the guy, hoping he would understand as he belongs to our generation which thankfully he did. However, as they say, you do not get married to a guy in India. You get married to a family. His parents, who didn't know about my anxiety, didn't take it positively. They couldn't understand what my illness was, and thought it was all in my "head”.

BossNaari: You know there are a lot of myths surrounding mental health, so what are some common myths or misconceptions about anxiety that you wish people understood better, especially those that lead to stigma or judgement from others?

Rasika: I remember an incident from my college days. I used to keep my medication in a small box, and one day, some classmates found it. They laughed and made comments, suggesting there was something “abnormal” about me. This is the problem you know, mental illness and its treatment are so heavily stigmatised that many people face teasing, mocking, and harassment simply for taking care of their health. Another misconception I face is that my mental illness is in my head. But doesn't the fact that it is in my head make it very much real?

BossNaari:  Yes, people can be so insensitive sometimes, How did you deal with all the stigma?

Rasika: Initially it used to affect me a lot. It hurts right? When someone makes such comments or laughs at you, you begin to think that something is wrong with you. It took a huge toll on my confidence. But, I found a way to cope with it, I started exercising and it acted as an outlet for all my emotions. Slowly I started to accept that this is just a part of me.

BossNaari: Beautiful, what advice can you give to someone who is dealing with anxiety?

Rasika: My advice would be to seek therapy, it has been incredibly helpful for me. Talking openly about what you're going through can make a huge difference, and a therapist can offer valuable strategies to manage your symptoms. Additionally, socialising can help you break free from being trapped by your thoughts and insecurities, allowing you to build a supportive circle. It's crucial to maintain boundaries and protect your confidence. Staying active and ensuring you get enough sleep can also greatly impact how you feel and manage your symptoms.