Redefining Beauty Standards: A Journey of Embracing Dark Skin
Indian women have been socially conditioned to be “fair and lovely”, making them question their worth based on their skin color. Today, we sit down with Meera, whose journey through the shadows of colorism began as early as kindergarten. Her story is one of resilience—navigating the hurtful comments, subtle biases, and the struggle to find self-worth amidst it all. Join us as Meera opens up about the moments that shaped her, the quiet pain of being unseen, and the long path she walked to embrace her true self.
Boss Naari: Hi Meera, we're so glad to have you with us today. When did you first become aware that people see skin colour differently?
Meera: Honestly, I've noticed it since kindergarten, my family would often tease me about my skin colour and facial features.
Boss Naari: And how did that make you feel?
Meera: It made me feel sad and kind-of unworthy you know? At school the kids used to call me by all sorts of names which angered me a lot. I used to come home and tell my mother and she would just stay quiet. She would indirectly communicate the same thing to me, like when the fair and lovely commercial would come up - she would increase the volume. Or sometimes blurt out unpleasant words on her "fate" when there was any comment on my skin colour by any relative. It really made me feel that having fairer skin would make a difference. I still carry that bias with me today.
Boss Naari: I'm sorry to hear that, Meera. It must have been tough, especially coming from your own family. Do you think these comments have impacted the way you see yourself today?
Meera: Family should be a safe space, but sadly, it wasn't for me. As an average student growing up, I felt like my skin colour was an added disappointment to my parents. Even my mother admitted that she didn’t like dark-skinned people. Until my early-20s, I genuinely believed there was something wrong with me. I grew up to be a shy girl who did not want to be seen. I just wanted to be part of the background, never in the spotlight. Maybe I was scared to be "seen" and to be recognized by my skin colour.
Boss Naari: Could you share your experience as a dark-skinned woman in India?
Meera: I have observed a difference in how people show respect. Some people would give priority to fair-skinned women. I have experienced this firsthand, some girls in our school would exclude me from their group. As a girl, I always wanted to wear a pretty dress and dance at the school function. However, teachers would not include me because of my skin colour. I’ve also noticed that babies sometimes gravitate toward people they find more visually appealing, leaving me uneasy. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but it does make me feel self-conscious in those moments.
Boss Naari: I am sure it must have been difficult to deal with it all, at such a young age, Do you think your childhood experiences with skin colour affected your confidence and self-esteem?
Meera: Growing up, I had 2-3 close friends who didn’t care about my skin colour. Others were less friendly, I was bullied as a child for many different reasons. My parents used to force me to use creams and turmeric face packs saying they could make my skin whiter, which was both painful and exhausting. Each time I applied the creams, my mother would wait, almost hopeful that they'd somehow work a miracle. But they never did. And that disappointment, over and over, was painful. Being a teenager was even more tough. While my classmates were starting to get into relationships, I couldn’t help but feel like none of the boys found me attractive.
Boss Naari: How did you manage to overcome those insecurities and build your confidence over the years?
Meera: Toward the end of my teenage years, I stumbled upon the "HeForShe" movement,a campaign for gender equality that gained global attention. Learning about it made me reflect on my own sense of self-worth. I was a big Harry Potter fan, and watching my childhood hero Emma Watson talk about it really changed the way I perceived things. I can’t express how happy I felt at that time. I understood that our skin colour does not decide our worth. Changes like these are slow you know? I can't remember exactly when, but I slowly started gaining confidence and stopped caring about my skin colour. Surprisingly, I noticed people started paying more attention to my personality and my opinions, and it was encouraging to be seen in a new light.
Boss Naari: Does the portrayal of dark-skinned girls in movies help in any way? Has there been a story or character that you’ve felt particularly connected to?
Meera: Recently, I watched The Great Indian Kitchen, and the lead character was inspiring. It was refreshing to see a strong, brave, dark-skinned woman portrayed on screen, something that's still quite rare in mainstream media. I was glad to see the movie getting the appreciation it truly deserved. After reflecting on it, I realised how difficult it is to recall other dark-skinned actresses in leading roles that I personally relate to. Often, these roles are given to lighter-skinned actors who wear a lot of make-up to look dark. While I may not recall specific examples off the top of my head, I deeply admire characters like Moana and Letitia Wright’s performance in Wakanda Forever. Unfortunately, some characters, like Layla and Flora from Winx Club, have been whitewashed over time. A notable example of this is the casting change for Lavender Brown in Harry Potter when her relationship with Ron Weasley was depicted. Strong dark-skinned characters like the female leads in The Great Indian Kitchen and Ammu are rare, but important. I was also pleased to see Suhana Khan embracing her natural skin tone in Archies, though it was disheartening to later see her skin tone lightened in a Maybelline ad.
“Recently, I watched The Great Indian Kitchen, and the lead character was truly inspiring. It was refreshing to see a strong, brave, dark-skinned woman portrayed on screen, something that’s still quite rare in mainstream media.”
Boss Naari: Do comments or judgments about your skin colour still affect you today?
Meera: Yes, whenever people indirectly point out my insecurities, I feel like I’m back at square one. It’s tough. Even as an adult, it’s still challenging. Whenever I go to the mall or a shop, the staff often recommend skin-lightening products, which serves as a constant reminder that society still values lighter skin. But I do not care anymore. Initially, I used to get angry at such comments, but now I see that it comes from a place of not knowing, so I just laugh it off. Sometimes, when my skin looks paler, I’ve had people say things like, "Omg, you look good. You look fairer." I used to appreciate these comments, thinking that my skincare routine was working. But looking back, I realise they were problematic and backhanded compliments. Even now, I’m unsure how to respond to them.
Boss Naari: What would you tell someone who is dealing with similar struggles today?
Meera: The key is to find a way to feel comfortable in your own skin. Even then, it’s tough, especially when you constantly hear comments or taunts about your skin colour. It's crucial to reach a point where those remarks no longer affect you. It’s a hard process, but it's necessary. Our main focus should be on protecting our mental health—that's what truly matters.
